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Words by Rhonwen y Llysieuyddes (m.k.a. Julia Howarth West) To the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General," from "The Pirates of Penzance," music by Sir Arthur Sullivan
C
I'm an Artemisian Herald; we have duties multitudinous
G7
But handle them with style in a manner fortitudinous.
C
Announcements that we give are always clear, concise and audible.
G D7
We blazon all devices with facility that's laudable.
G7 Cm
We've memorized the precedence for peerage and nobility;
Bb7 Eb
Processionals we run are noted for their punctuality.
G7 Cm
We read the various scrolls aloud with obvious sincerity--
Ab7 G7
And manage to pronounce the wildest names with great dexterity!
C
And so, good lords and ladies, see how one with my capacity
G7
Must study hard and practice long with zeal and tenacity.
C G7 C G7
For heraldry or ceremony, tourney or processional
C F C G7 C F C G7 C
The Artemisian heralds have a style that's most professional.
Yet I can think of no job more maligned in the Society
Because of one small practice that has gained us notoriety--
We ease the pressure caused by our heraldic duties numerous
By telling brilliant puns which to our own ears sound quite humorous.
And though these puns provide release to make our lives more liveable
It seems that those around us find the practice unforgivable.
And so they do forget the heralds' qualities most sensible
And fasten their attention on those they find reprehensible.
But even though the populace our humor can't appreciate
They couldn't get along without a herald to officiate.
And so, at court or ceremony, tourney or processional
The Artemisian heralds tell their puns with style professional.
Baldwin of Erebor came up with the chords for this one. It was originally written as "An Outlands Herald," but when the Barony of Loch Salann, where I live, became part of the Principality (and later Kingdom) of Artemisia, I found it necessary to alter the words a bit.
I was a herald in the Society for Creative Anachronism from the moment I joined it. I don't remember ever having held any other office. So this song sort of came naturally. . . .
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from 1 Dec 2003