 near Shadowskeep (Española, New Mexico) 29-30 July A.S. XIII (1978) | ||
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Officers
Dwarven Invitational I Shire Champion and Stolen Souls Shire of Cwm Maethlon Newsletters
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Lady Jerilyn, Lady Rhonwen, and Zelph de Darwehsure travelled the long distance to Santa Clara Canyon, a magical place (it's green) near Shadowskeep. It was declared Dwarven Earth (watch for holes) and the gathering began 29 July A.S. XIII.
Because so many humans were present, the event began with a Dwarven History Lesson (101), given by the Hair Professors Gunwaldt and Heinrich (you would have to see that to believe it!) Dwarven genealogy and history from al-Barran Stonebone were traced, and short lectures on Dwarven math and linguistics followed the history lesson. Everyone there received a bag of 100 gold pieces, and the rest of the morning was spent in wandering about trying to get more in various ways (including gambling, selling things, and cutting purses). That afternoon, challenge matches were held, and the betting on outcomes of various matches was heavy. Zelph did an excellent job in the fighting, in spite of being wounded above the eye. And Rhonwen had a run-in with a cutpurse who not only cut her purse, but accidentally cut her hand as well! Clouds which had been providing welcome relief from the hot sun came in earnest, and the challenge matches dissolved in a thunderstorm. Everyone raced for pavilions, and until the rain quit the festivities were postponed. Eventually everyone emerged onto the rain-soaked meadow to watch and participate in the Rock Tourney. Again gambling was heavy, but some non-gamblers found ways to increase their hoardes--such as Rhonwen and Jerilyn keeping score for dwarves that had a hard time counting. . . . Spectators kept their distance, for Hi and Ho rocks flew for hours, making life interesting in nearby pavilions. By the time the finalists were finished, it was time for supper and the Bardic Circle. Mistress Irminsul sold copies of the Dwarven Hymnary and we sang dwarven songs--some familiar ("Dwarves of Atenveldt") (also the Human version) and some new (such as "The Iron Boat"--a retelling of the story of al-Barran Stonebone, and a very catchy round by Elinor of Rosewood). Then competition for best rock, and lists of Gross and Chivalry began. Many intersting rock tales were told (with a plea to spay or neuter pet rocks and the heartrending tale of Horace, the rock who used to be a turtle). As the evening wore on it got harder to tell the contestants for List of Gross (grossest performance) from those for List of Chivalry (best performance) because there were some excellent performances of gross numbers. . . . Although there was a great deal of royalty and nobility present, it had been agreed that for this weekend there were two sorts of people--dwarves and humans. This ruling was set aside for a very short time Sunday morning so that King Johann could hold court. At this court Lady Ælflæd of Duckford received her warrant for Kingdom Seneschale and a Grant of Arms. The dwarves, smitten by the plight of Mistress Irminsul, Dwarf Mother Improbable (she being unable to properly lust for gold because of her autocrat's duties), presented her with a great deal of gold. This was swiftly deposited in her pavilion, for as court adjourned, the ban on cutting purses was off. Soon after court the gold was turned in for counting and the lists for ? Charming began. (The Question Mark Charming is because it was not known whether the winner would be dwarf or human. There was even a good possibility it would be Prince Charming!) The lady of the fighter who won would be named Snow White. During the lists approval from above came in the form of a shower of small meltable rocks that lasted for some time. The lists continued, heartened by this approval (although the participants and especially the marshalls became very damp). At a break in the fighting Sir Heinrich der Jäger, who had been hired by Rhonwen for the protection of her gold, fought the defender of the cutpurse who had tried to steal it . . . who just happened to be himself! The challenge ended in a double kill, but both parties declared themselves satisfied, so a rematch was not called. The final round in the lists was between Sir Heinrich der Jäger and Master Gunwaldt von Ostermachen. Gunwaldt finally triumphed and his lady, Ælflæd of Duckford, was named Snow White. As she went out onto the field, to the cheers of dwarves and humans alike, she was given a victory apple. BUT HORRORS! As she took a bite she fell lifeless to the grass! Gunwaldt and the other Dwarves were heart broken (even the heavens wept) as they bore her body off to a pavilion in preparation for a wake. The waiting people, crammed into a tiny pavilion because of the thunderstorm, soon forgot their grief in a lusting session. Even Gunwaldt managed to be distracted every once in awhile, though he had a tendency to break into heartrending wails from time to time. Then, with a mournful chorus of "Hi-ho's" the dwarves carried Ælflæd's body in on a bier. The mourners sobbed and wailed, and Gunwaldt knelt for one last look at his beloved. He kissed her . . . and she opened her eyes and sat up! Ælflæd, the dwarves' Snow White, lived! Hi-ho's and hurrahs echoed off the mountains as Dwarf Charming led Snow White to the back of the pavilion to preside over closing court. Ælflæd received Snow White's apron and Gunwaldt a huge dwarf-coverd urn (which he later decided to fill with drinkables. . . .) The various awards were given: Mistress Irminsul took "Goldilust" (it was rumored she had 42 bags of gold!) and Countess Leah Kasmira and Sir Heinrich der Jäger were named Mistress and Master of Lusts; Prince Wilhelm of the Bogs and Marcus Arabis won List of Gross for a really worthy rendition of "I'm Looking Over a Fourleaf Clover," (they gave us another great encore); and Mistress Irminsul took List of Chivalry for her Dwarven Lullaby. The Rock Award went to Ark Kazad whose collection included (fool's) gold and thereby won great dwarf approval. Sigmund won the Rock Tourney (although Zelph came in second!). The L.U.S.T. was awarded to Gunwaldt and Heinrich for obvious reasons, and Wilhelm and Marcus had their L.U.S.T. awards publicly announced. When all awards had been made and gifts given, the dwarves washed their hands and faces and Snow White kissed each one tenderly on the forehead (but Theo, you've been through the line three times already). Then a final lusty "Hi-Ho!" and everyone adjourned to take down their soggy pavilions and head for home. Submitted this II day of August A.S. XIII by Rhonwen y Llysieuydd From The Questing Quill, Vol. II Issue VIII, August, A.S. XIII | |
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Meistres Rhonwen welcomes others who were there in the early days adding their reminiscences--after over 25 years, her memory is a bit faulty, and much information has disappeared in the fog. E-mail her at [email protected]. | ||