Ancient History of the Barony of Loch Salann

The Epic of the Defender of Hastle Castle
by Friar Orison of the Ribald Pen

Officers

Introduction

Planning

1st Revel

2nd Revel

July Revel

August Revel

Saltcon

Outlands Coronet

October Notes

Beaste Feaste

Twelfth Night Revel

Court of Love

Burro Creek War I

1st Birthday Tourney

Kingdom Arts and Sciences

Turnabout Tourney

1st Outlandish Warlord

Shakercon

Grand Outlandish V

June Lunacy Revel

Courtesan's Challenge

Rustic Weekend

Guild Faire

Outlands Investiture

Storming of Storm Mountain

First Lagoon Demo

Dwarven Invitational I

Defender of Hastle Castle

Crown Tourney

Second Lagoon Demo

Shire Champion and Stolen Souls

Peasant Revel



Early Barony Years

The Questing Quill

Shire of Cwm Maethlon Newsletters



Ideas For Arms

In a world where wizards
And dragon-lizards
Just don't know how to act,
The thing most rare
Is a lady fair
With virtue still intact.

But here, where smoke
Of dragons chokes
The dwellers in the waste,
Are ladies three
Whose chastity
Has never been abased.

Is this absurd?
Do you doubt my word?
"It isn't true," you cry.
How can I know
Such a thing is so?
I asked—and virgins cannot lie.

These damosels
Had locked themselves
Within a castle keep.
Close watch they kept--
They never slept,
Lest wicked men should creep
Within their walls
And merry halls
To woo them in their sleep.

They sang and danced
And necromanced
And had a merry time,
While all around
Foul things abound,
Like monsters, muck, and slime.

But after days
Of Roundelays,
Parties started to pall.
Cried the ladies three,
"We must be free
Of monsters, muck, and all!"

Cried Rhonwen the Proud
In voice quite loud,
"This madness has to end!
Where is the knight
Of mickle might
Who will our home defend?"

Then Jerilyn
Of sublte pen
Said, "Sisters, let's be wise.
To find our trusty
Knight so lusty,
Let us advertise!"

Fair Ferelith
Said, "Yes, but with
This single reservation--
The man who'll save
Can't be a knave--
We'll have a competition!"

Then a lovely maid
All disarrayed
Came seeking succor here.
"Please save me," said
Fair Dame Ælflæd,
And they said, "Have no fear."

"But there's no surety
Of my purity,"
Said Ælflæd, blushing bright.
Yet they let her in,
For how could sin
Mar her the dwarves have named Snow White?

So word went out
All round about
Attracting quite a passel
Of men who claimed
To deserve the name,
"Defender of Hastle Castle."

"Against the Prince
There's no defense,"
Cried out the weak of heart.
Then spoke a dwarf,
"Begone! Be orf!
All cowards should depart!"

Oh the kind who reigns
And the queen did deign
To visit in the shire;
And others came
Whose noble name
True valor did inspire.

On a dismal day
All came to play
At swords and blood and battle.
No man was weak;
No man did break;
No knees were heard to rattle;
But one man bested
All the rest,
And slaughtered them like cattle.

Oh miny a highborn
Knight did try
To win the ladies' prize.
But only one,
When all was done,
Had favor in their eyes.

Who filled the Quest?
Or have you guessed
Who saved their chastity?
No surly knave,
But Dwarf most brave.
Behold him: This is He!

And now my friends,
This epic ends,
But in a little while
I'll sing to you
The story true
Of the man who did defile
The ladies four
We all battled for;
They were conquered by guile.
For while a blade
Left them undismayed,
They fell before a smile.

For every thief
Will come to grief;
And never fear the surgeon;
Nary a corset
Comes off forced--
The gentle man unmakes the virgin.

Disclaimer: This is not an official site of the Society for Creative Anachronism or the Barony of Loch Salann.

Meistres Rhonwen welcomes others who were there in the early days adding their reminiscences--after over 25 years, her memory is a bit faulty, and much information has disappeared in the fog. E-mail her at [email protected].

Rhonwen's SCA page | Julia West's home page




since 13 Feb 2004

Last update 13 Feb 2004